Stillness

Two movies: The Limits Of Control(2009) and The Visitor(2007). Also if you feel like it, Redbelt(2008) and Mercy(2009).

In a search for stillness, you can choose to look outside and bring in, or look inside and push out. The first way is filled with things and people that take up your time. The second is lonely. The first requires a strong backbone, an open and willing heart, a less commanding mind. The second requires a strong backbone, a patient and sincere heart, an organized stable mind.

I vacillate between these two choices, having made neither but enjoying the benefits and the suffering the consequences of both. I walked into them slowly over time without knowing what I was doing as I was doing it. In that way I feel akin to everyone on this planet, because for all of us there are some things we walk into without knowing what we are doing.

Some of these things we quickly understand and accept, others we attempt wholeheartedly to reject: we go through this in some form nonetheless.

So my tone of voice and accent changes when I talk to someone for a bit. My attitude and word choice will begin to subconsciously shift. People are comfortable with me quickly. And it’s because in that initial encounter I have with someone, I don’t react to anything but how they are, how they hold themselves and seem to be dealing with me and the world they inhabit. I don’t react to anything else until later on, when I’ve already constructed a model in my head of who and how they are.

Another way to say this might be….I am not moved by anything but the essence of a person. And only after this essence has moved me do I move back.

A stillness of interactivity. Now I seek a stillness of mind.

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About Memri

Attempting redefinition!
This entry was posted in General, Life, Self Analysis and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Stillness

  1. Sam says:

    OMG write MORE!

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